From Hurting to Healing

From Hurting to Healing

 I have recently experienced a year of overwhelming healing in my life.   Most of these things happened this year, except one, I just realized the importance of it during this year. 

 The quotes are defining moments in my life.

 I look up to the mountains--

       does my help come from there?

My help comes from the LORD,
       who made the heavens and the earth!

The LORD himself watches over you!
       The LORD stands beside you as your protective shade.

Psalm 121:1-2, 5  (NLT)

Monday

Perfection is Overrated

“You can’t do everything perfectly”, said my husband during a heated debate we were having.

But the Lord said to her, “My dear Martha, you are worried and upset over all these details!

Luke 10:41

As we reach for perfection, we must be very, very careful.  Perfection in all areas is simply put, impossible.  As we blindly, strategically, desperately strive to get “it” just right, what are we missing along the way?  In the scripture above, Martha was missing out on Jesus’ teachings and in turn, God’s blessings.

In my overwhelming quest to make our home as clean as possible, the clothes always fresh and unwrinkled, the meals as homemade and tasteful as feasible, I was missing out on the very thing I was trying to achieve:  A happy family.  My husband repeatedly pointed out that all he really cared about was that we were happy and smiling when he walked in the door.  Instead, he saw this harried woman, tired, frustrated many times resentful, all because I had imaginary guidelines in my head telling me if everything wasn’t  “just so”, my world would come crashing down. 

Balance is the key, not perfection.   As we strive to make a living, or keep the house, we must realize that life is about the people in our lives, not the things.  All that people want (yourself included) is be happy and content.  Happiness and contentment comes from spending time with God and family. 

Dear Lord, show me the areas where I need balance and help me to make the necessary changes.

Tuesday

Opposite

“But, I want to feed the cows”, said my husband after I explained that I fed the cows so he wouldn’t have to (all the time).

Before every man there lies a wide and pleasant road that seems right but ends in death.

Proverbs 14:12

The quote from my husband above is a small example of the many lessons I learned this year, about doing the opposite.      

All of us do things based on past events seared into our memories.  Something that we’re not sure where it is coming from has driven is in most of the decisions we have made.  These decisions form and mold us into the person we are.  We know we are making the right decision because when we do it, it feels “right”.

However, in many cases, it is truly the opposite path that should be taken.  These paths are made known to us by a loved one, or a still small voice, or scripture, or movie,  a book…..anything that for a moment causes us to think twice about it.  Instead of pushing the rogue thought aside, as you normally would, give it some attention.  Is God trying to sneak into the hard brick wall of your past experiences, by giving you the crazy thought?  Consider that maybe, the opposite of what you have been doing will give you the desired result you have been trying to achieve, but never attaining.

Dear Lord, please, help me to recognize your voice and act upon it accordingly.  

Wednesday

God’s Snap of the Finger

“I need to step aside and let God do his work”, said my best friend during a heated debate about our relationship.

I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it.

Ecclesiastes 3:14

My friend had tried over and over to fix, help, console and repair me.   She did this with the best intentions in the most loving way possible.  As hard as she tried, she could not fix or heal me, even after 20 years of trying.

One day, she heard from God and He said, “Are you done?  Ok, let me take over now”.  From that moment on, she took the painful steps necessary to peel my need for her constant examination about my life, away from her.  This was not easy, it was not overnight and it was not without intense pain for all involved.  It was however, the right thing to do.    When the process was complete, God did take over.  When God took over, He did in one year, what she could not do, not in 20 years, not ever.

Try as we may, we can not fix people.  God has to do this.   We need to be there and be a friend when necessary, however, we need to recognize when the lines of friendship start getting fuzzy. Is someone relying on you more than God? Are you playing God to someone?  God can do in an instant what we can never do.  When God does it,  it lasts forever.  Sometimes, we need to move aside, keep quiet, walk out of the room and let God take over.

Dear Lord, please,  help me to understand where I need to help and where I need to move aside.

 Thursday

Wrap it Up

“Out of every death is a new life and I must move on with mine”,  I cried as I said “good bye” to both of my parents, 29 years (to the day) after their death.

For everything there is a season,
      a time for every activity under heaven.

Ecclesiastes 3:11

Living between two worlds, one never really finished, the other, never really started.  This is the way I lived my life for 29 years, yes, 29 years.  I did not attend my parents’ funeral (they died in a car accident) when I was 15.  As a result of never saying “good bye”, having closure, I had a perpetual sadness to my life and a chip on my shoulder:  A yearning for something that I could not articulate, or understand. 

Most people on the peripheral, simply near to my world (but not in it), saw a successful, happy, content person.  Those that were close to me saw a 15 year old feeling the world owed her something and those same people were reminded of that daily (for 29 long years).  After much counseling and reflection during the last year, I finally got up the courage to say good bye to my parents and that hurting 15 year old. 

Without closure, you are constantly in the middle.  If you were trying to wash the car and clean the house at the same time, would either one get done well?  In life, you need closure on everything, not just the death of a loved one.   With anything painful in your life, you must grieve for a period, but then, you MUST move on.  Without closure, you will hurt yourself and those around you.

Dear Lord, help me to see when I need to move on please, God, help me to do it.

Friday

THANKS

“Well, I guess the only way to go from here is up”, said my brother after I told him I had lost the job I moved to Kansas City for.

In all things give thanks.

1 Thessalonians 5;18

At the time, losing that job, simply tore my heart out and pushed me into despair.  I sat on the floor talking to my brother on the phone, tears streaming down my face.  The last few years had not been good to me, but I had worked hard to have a new attitude and was ready for a fresh start.  Then I got fired.  I did not thank God at the time, I was mad, alone, frightened and wondering what in the world I was going to do.

In hindsight, losing that job was the best thing that could have happened to me, career-wise.   I ended up at a job as a receptionist at a start up telephone company.  From there, I moved up and up the ladder, ending up as a Telecom Engineer, a mere 15 years later.    Had I not lost the original job, I doubt I would have ever had any inkling of how a telephone system worked, or especially how my brain completely understood and thrived on knowing more.

Later in life, I realized if things weren’t going my way, God must have a plan.  I thanked God even in the tough times.  There is no way we can see God’s reasoning in every situation.  We are the child and he is the parent.  We have to trust Him.

Lord God, thank you for having a plan for my life.  I thank you for guiding me in Your way and not letting me always get my way.